What is love bombing?
Love bombing is when a new romantic relationship comes on super strong with accesive affection, over the top compliments, lavish gifts, they want to meet your friends and family, planning multiple trips together, they listen intently and act as if everything you say is so smart or incredibly funny. But remember you just met. You are smart and funny. you have great friends, and traveling with a partner sounds awesome. But is this sincere or is it manipulative?
If you have been dating for a while and have not met that special someone love bombing can feel so good. You feel wanted and appreciated, you feel like you have met your soul mate and have a future with someone. But will it be long lasting?
Why we fall for a love bomber
As women we were raised to believe that someday our prince (princess) will come. We have watched movies, listened to love songs and have read romance novels on finding our perfect partner and falling in love at first site. We are looking for that love match and we want to believe that the compliments, the affection and the attention are real.
And I definitely do not want to squelch anyones dreams and I too believe it can happen. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be aware that your potential prince may be a love bomber in disguise. Many unhealthy relationships start out as the most romantic.
This happened to my friend Samantha
After many years of online dating, many first dates, and short term relationships, she met her love bomber. From the very first date the signs were there. Overly affectionate and complimentary (what woman doesn’t like that) talking about a relationship after the first date, making plans for the future.
Hours and hours were spent on the phone sharing everything from his college days, his road to success, personal life stories and intimate details about his life including his kids and ex wife. And of course continuing the compliments, talking about what he would buy her including a new car, where they would travel and the house they would buy together-they knew each other less than two weeks. And only lasted about 4 weeks.
Things to ask yourself.
- Are they over the top with generous gifts or suggestions of gifts?
- Overly needy and not respecting your time. Calling and texting at inappropriate times.
- They try to isolate you from family and friends.
- The relationship seems to be at bullet train speed.
- You are a great catch but the compliments are extreme and excessive.
Although the accolades above are fabulous in the right long term partner; please just be aware that if it sounds too good to be true it may be just that-not true.
Have you been loved bombed? Please email me with your story at email@example.com, all emails will stay anonymous.
I love this article on love bombing by Lauren Krause/Self
Whether you are new to dating, in a relationship but things just don’t feel right or you are making the same mistakes in finding love. The books listed below will help you understand your love sign and what to look for in a partner.
- Attached – Understanding your attachment style and what to look for in a partner to match you.
- The 5 Languages of Love, the Secret to Love that Lasts – For singles and couples!
- Finding Love after 50 – From online dating coach Cassie Zampa Keim
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